A Not so Normal Star Wars!

On The Lakehouse Forums, the fan-fiction A Not So Normal Week (NSNW) and it's author, Bluesaber3, are very popular. However, Bluesaber3 has said that, after writing the last two chapters of NWNW 3, she's not going to have the time to work on a fourth installment. I'm sure that is upsetting to a lot of her fans, myself included: NSNW is a hilarious, inventive story and I'll be sad to see it end. However, perhaps I can offer a bit of consolation to it's fans.

I love writing fan-fiction. I love NSNW. Now that I have read all that has been written to date, I have a grasp of the characters and quirks and things, so I decided to ask BlueSaber3 if I could do something involving her NSNW characters. She said yes, and so A Not So Normal Star Wars is coming!  A Not So Normal Star Wars are going to be parodies of the Star Wars movies, with the NSNW characters in them! Keep your eyes open for news of the first installment which is tentatively being called The Phantom Dentist!

Another Copy!

Well, sort of. In NSNW there's the Mortis Trilogy and then the 'turn into fairies' episodes. And in my very first chapter...

Padme giggled and poured Crazy-Glu in her hair, then glitter.

“Anakin, do I look like a fairy?” she asked, giggling madly.

“Uh…well…fairies have wings…”

Padme raced for more cardboard.

“Cool, so we BOTH can fly!!”

Weird, huh?

Crazy Days Copying Not So Normal Week???

I had not read all of NSNW when I started writing Crazy Days. Out of my own imagination I made Anakin obsessed with peanut butter. So I became concerned when I saw this:

This time, on A Not-So-Normal Week 2: Obi-Wan's resolution, Anakin becomes even further obsessed with milk (and unicorns)... and peanut butter. Yep. Peanut butter...

How could this happen? Great minds think alike, I guess. Strange, very strange...

Now off to read that chapter that may end up being similar to mine! *gasp*

*edit*

*sighs in relief* It appears that mine is still very different than NSNW. After all, Anakin seems to like plain peanut butter just fine- it doesn't have to be unicorn flavored. Lol!

Crazy Days: Chapter Three

Chapter Three

In this chapter…

“I WANT SOME CHEEEEEEEEEEESE!!”

“Padme and you…what, Anakin?”

“I missed the epic-ness!”

***

“YEHAW! TODAY IS AWESOME!!!” Padme squealed at the top of her lungs.

Anakin came out of the bathroom wearing a robe, a towel wrapped around his head.

“Why is today awesome?” he asked, squeaking his finger in his ear.

Padme made a face. “Ani, that’s icky-poo.”

“Icky-poo?” Anakin was confused. “What does that mean?”

“It means: disgusting, revolting, gross, sick…icky…” Padme was at a loss for further words. “You know…icky-poo.”

“But…but you just said ‘icky’. Why not just ‘icky’? Why…’icky-poo’?”

Padme shrugged. “I dunno…it kinda has a ring to it, don’t you think?”

Anakin shrugged. “Anyway, why’s today awesome?” he asked again.

“Because today is the day that you said something was going to happen!!”

“Oh, yeah!” Anakin grinned. “I’d almost forgot! Today is the Jedi Child-care conference!”

Padme raised her eyebrows. “I thought Jedi weren’t allowed to have children…”

“Yeah. well, it coincides with Youngling day.” Anakin explained. “Some of the Younglings come as babies or small children, so we have to be prepared to take care of them, in addition to being able to train them later.”

“Oh, ok.” Padme seemed to suddenly remember something. She was silent for a moment.

“Well, it might turn out for the best that I go with you.” she finally ventured.

“Yeah, I mean, what if we had a baby someday?” Anakin laughed.

“Yeah…” Padme settled a hand on her round belly and tried to decide whether to tell Anakin now or at a more opportune moment. When Anakin rushed off to get dressed, she decided to wait. She didn’t want to tell him in a mad rush or anything: the moment had to be just right.

“Maybe we could be nibbling on crackers with mild cheese-spread on them when I tell him…” Padme dreamed.

In just a short amount of time, Anakin and Padme were ready to go. They got into their speeder and headed towards the conference, which was at the Jedi temple, just across the street. Hopping out, Padme threw her hands in the air, defeated.

“What is it, Padme?” Anakin asked.

“I didn’t eat breakfast and I’m huuuungryyyyy!” she wailed.

“Oh.” Anakin shrugged. Well, there’s food inside, I hope. If not, we’ll just go somewhere and buy something.”

“Something with CHEESE?” Padme squealed.

“Uh…okay, sure.” Anakin agreed.

“YES!” Padme rushed inside the building, fervently hoping they didn’t have any food inside. A minute later Anakin handed her a cheese bar he had bought from a vendor.

“Ani…” Padme began to sob.

“What is it, Padme?” he asked, concerned.

“They’re selling food here, which means we’ll buy something here, which means we can’t go somewhere else and eat cheese!” A puddle of water appeared under her as she continued to sob. “I WANT SOME CHEEEEEEEEEEESE!!” she cried.

“Uh…Padme…?” Anakin pointed to the cheese bar. “That is cheese.”

“Oh.” Padme ripped the wrapper off of the bar and ate it in two bites. “Pregnancy craving.” she explained.

“WHAT??” Anakin asked, stunned.

“Uh…” Padme grinned sheepishly. “Well…I’ll explain later.”

Anakin shook his head. “I didn’t know people got…pre-not-she cravings…in fact, I don’t even know what they are.”

Good, Padme though that means I can just wait and tell him later.

The two followed the arrows pointing towards where the conference was taking place until they found the room. Anakin picked out two good seats and Padme sat down. Anakin decided he was going to see if Obi-Wan came, so while Padme munched on another cheese bar Anakin hung out in the front lobby. He didn’t have to wait long before his friend appeared.

“Obi-Wan, it’s great to see you!” Anakin exclaimed, rushing over to his former master and best friend.

“Uh…hello, Anakin.” Obi-Wan managed as he tried to hold onto a very young, squirming child.

“Who’s the little fellow?” Anakin asked, ruffling the child’s hair. The boy bit his finger. “OW!” Anakin screamed, stepping back and examining his sore finger.

“He’s a new youngling.” Obi-Wan explained. “Master Yoda and Master Windu gave me the responsibility of looking after him, and they said this conference might do me some good.”

“Uh…ok.” Anakin was relieved that he didn’t have to watch the youngling. He wasn’t ready for that responsibility to be thrust upon him like that, with no time to prepare. “Wanna sit down?”

“Yes, of course. Maybe I can strap him in somehow…”

As they headed to their seats, Anakin wondered why Obi-Wan hadn’t told him the boy’s name.

“Nobi, what’d his name?” Anakin inquired.

“Uh…’Nobi’?” Obi-Wan asked. “Where’d that come from?”

“It’s my new nickname for you.” Anakin explained as he pointed out their seats. “I just made it up.”

“Uh…okay.”

“Kenobi…Ke…nobi…Nobi.” Anakin smirked, pleased with himself. Obi-Wan made a face as he settled into the seat beside Anakin.

“So what is his name, Nobi?”

“I’m not sure yet. And stop calling me ‘Nobi’!”

Anakin didn’t even hear the last part. “You mean…you get to name him yourself???”

“Yes…”

“TOTALLY COOL! That’s the reason I wanna have a kid someday!” Anakin grinned.

“Uh…do you mean, you want to raise an orphaned youngling?” Obi-Wan prompted. “Remember, Jedi can’t get married.”

“I wouldn’t have to get married.” Anakin bubbled “Because Padme and I already d-” Anakin froze. Obi-Wan wasn’t supposed to know…!!

“Padme and you…what, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked, trying to hold onto the youngling, who apparently wanted very much to get down.

“Uh…” What could he say? “Well, uh…uh…”

Fortunately for Anakin, at that moment the speaker went to the front of the room and tested the microphone. “1,2,3…testing, 1,2,3...okay, we’re good.”

Anakin nestled in his seat, eager to learn how to care for younglings. Padme, finishing off her fifth cheese bar of the day, patted her baby-belly and wondered how to tell Anakin the news. Obi-Wan was totally focused on the little youngling who was now trying to eat his beard.

“Alright, here we are today.” the speaker said. “My name is Ki-Adi Mundi, and I’m your expert on all things Padawan, youngling and the like. I have attempted to raise many younglings and I am now going to give you my thoughts and experiences on the manner.”

“Hey, it’s Ki!” Anakin burst out, with sudden realization. Half the room turned to stare at him but Ki-Adi just went on with his spiel.

“Uh…what do you mean, ‘Ki’, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Urm…his nickname.”

“Saying ‘Ki-adi’ just takes way too much time, doesn’t it?” Obi-Wan asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah!” Anakin exclaimed, not noticing his Master’s tone of voice.

Ki-Adi was saying “I am most grateful for you all coming out tonight to hear my little speech. It will be quite short, no more than sixteen hours, and I apologize for the lack of length. However, I feel it is for the best…”

Anakin yawned and wished he had some popcorn or something to munch on. He studied the situation. To the right of Padme sat a woman, a man and several children. To Obi-Wan’s left were a few stern Jedi who looked like they wouldn’t appreciate very much an interruption of the lecture. Anakin chose to go past the family. After he had squeezed his way out of the row, he looked around the room. There were no vendors in here, so he slipped out to the lobby. He quickly spotted a popcorn cart and went over to it. He selected his flavor of choice and waited while the man behind the counter made it for him. Anakin licked his lips: there was nothing in the galaxy like super-spicy-Cajun-pepper caramel popcorn with a touch of mint, now was there?

“Anakin, what are you doing?” It was Padme.

“Just getting some snacks. Why, hon? How’s the conference going?” Anakin asked.

“Well, we’re still in the introduction, but…Ani, I think you really need to hear this.”

“Why?” Anakin paid the man for his popcorn. “Thank you.” Turning back to Padme, he chuckled. “I’m not ever gonna take care of a youngling, you know? Padawan’s take up too much time. I’m only here cause I have to be. And nobody said I couldn’t have a snack while I listen, did they?”

“But Ani, you’re gonna miss the important parts!” Padme pressed.

“I’m coming back, I’m coming back. Just let me…” Anakin followed his nose to a hot-dog cart. Padme hung back for a moment, a hand on her neatly concealed, quite-small-for-gestation tummy for a moment, then followed. Anakin had to hear this; they would be having a baby soon, after all! Maybe she should tell him now…

“Anakin…there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Not now, Padme. I’m doing something reeeeealy important...” Anakin had bought a hotdog and was tediously spooning just the exact amount of chili onto it. “Want one, May?” Anakin asked, holding his finished hotdog up and taking an enormous bite out of it.

“…‘May’…?” Padme asked, brows raised.

“It’s my new nickname for you.” Anakin explained, mouth full of hotdog. “I just made it up.”

“Uh…okay.” Padme suddenly caught a whiff of something familiar, something wonderful…

“Anakin, is that…cheese?”

“M-hm.” Anakin threw away his paper hotdog container and started to make Padme a hotdog. “Cheese sauce goes on top of it, see?”

“Mm…” Padme’s stomach growled. Eating for two required a lot of fuel, after all. “But then we go back to the conference, right?” Padme asked nervously.

“Right.” Anakin agreed, giving her her hotdog.

While Padme ate, Anakin bought them two sodas and some interesting candy which neither of them (nor the vendor who was selling it) could actually identify, then they headed back into the conference. Ki-Adi Mundi was apparently just finishing up his introduction and Padme sighed in relief.

“Now, all of this information can be applied to any situation.” Ki-Adi was saying. “Take, for example, this youngling here.”

Anakin squinted. “Hey, Nobi, that youngling up there looks sorta like the little boy you’re taking care of.”

“Hey, you’re right!” Obi-Wan grinned, smiling down at his lap. Suddenly the smile disappeared.

“Anakin! Anakin!” Obi-Wan hissed.

“Yeah, Nobi?”

Obi-Wan groaned inwardly but answered the question.

“That…I think that is the youngling I’m taking care of.”

“Or, at least, the one you’re supposed to be taking care of!” Padme pointed out, a little too cheerily. In fact she found that to be rather funny and doubled over in laughter. Obi-Wan looked desperately to Anakin.

“What do I do??” he hissed, trying not to make too much noise.

“I dunno.” Anakin said, kinda loudly. “Why don’t you just see what Ki does with him? Maybe he’ll get him to be a well-behaved little boy.”

“SHHH!” The people in front of Anakin hissed.

“Sorry.” Anakin whispered, popping some super-spicy-Cajun-pepper caramel popcorn with a touch of mint popcorn into his mouth and trying a piece of the strange candy. “Wow…it kinda tastes like…root-beer maybe? With an aftertaste of…lemon and mold? With strawberry sprinkles on top, maybe?”

Obi-Wan face-palmed and then turned his attention to Ki-Adi Mundi.

“…so you see, folks, that’s how you deal with a rowdy child.” Ki-ad said with a pleasant smile.

“What did he do?” Anakin asked, as loud as ever.

“SHHH!” the people in front of Anakin hissed.

“Sorry.” He lowered his voice again. “What did he do?” Anakin asked.

Obi-Wan shrugged. “Uh…I kinda missed it.”

“Me too.” Padme agreed.

“Oh well…” Obi-Wan snuck to the front and retrieved the youngling who Ki-Adi had gently set off of the stage. As Obi-Wan sat down, he sighed.

“I’m not sure it matters that we missed what Ki- I mean, Ki-Adi said.” Obi-Wan mumbled.

“Why not?” Anakin asked.

“I just have a feeling it doesn’t work for the long-term.” Obi-Wan remarked, as the youngling munched on a piece of Anakin’s candy and spit it in Obi-Wan’s beard.

“Why do you think that?” Padme asked. Obi-Wan just face-palmed again and was silent.

“So,” Ki-Adi went on “That’s the end of the first session.”

“And Ani missed more than half of it.” Padme mumbled to herself. Of course she had missed a lot of it too which made her even angrier. How would they ever take care of their baby if they didn’t listen to the conference?

“Want a snack, May?” Anakin asked.

“Well…I’m not hungry. Didn’t we just eat?”

Anakin shrugged sheepishly. “Well…true. But I wanna get something.”

“I think I’ll pass, thank you.” said the grumpy ‘May’, who shuffled back into the conference room to sit down.

“Okie-dokie.” Anakin, not noticing her ill mood, joined Obi-Wan at the hotdog stand.

“Guess what, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked with an enormous grin.

“What, Nobi?” Anakin grinned back.

“I thought of a name for the little fellow here?”

“What, ‘Reckless’?” Anakin asked, not joking in the least.

“No, Anakin!” Obi-Wan chided. “I named him Oli-Wan!”

“Uh…wow…hey! If I call you ‘Nobi’ and I call him ‘Oli’…that almost rhymes!”

“Anakin…what was in that candy you just ate?” Obi-Wan asked, slightly concerned.

“No clue whatsoever.” Anakin replied, heading over to the candy stand to buy some more.

When they sat down again there was another session on proper childcare, then everyone was released for lunch. Anakin being Anakin was again hungry, and Padme had now been awhile without food (and being pregnant she seemed hungry more than normal anyway), but Obi-Wan had just eaten and wanted to spend some quality time with Oli-Wan, so Anakin and Padme went to a restaurant by themselves.

”What would you like, May?” Anakin asked.

“Ani...is there anything cheesy here?” Padme inquired.

“Well, sure there is!” Anakin beamed, rattling off a whole list of foods on the menu that contained cheese. “Cheese pancakes, cheese waffles, cheese-fries, cheese bars, chili-cheese dogs, cheese soufflé , cheese pie, cheesecake, chocolate-cheese surprise, cheese shake, cheese corndog aaaand of course, just plain cheese, in fifteen flavors. Aaaaaaand,”- Anakin had saved the best for last- “POTATOES WITH THAT FAKE BLUE BUTTER STUFF TO GO ON TOP!”

“But Ani…butter’s not the same as cheese.”

“Oh. Well, what would you like then?”

“All of the above, minus the potato stuff.”

“Okie-dokie.” Anakin flagged down a waiter. “Everything on the menu with cheese and a big pile of potatoes smothered in fake blue butter.” Anakin ordered.

“Er…right away, sir.” The waiter hurried off and Anakin leaned back in the booth and sighed.

“Today’s going great, isn’t it Padme?”

Padme sighed. “I don’t think this is working out. We’re not really learning anything from this conference.” she moped.

“Nonsense!” Anakin countered. “We’re learning loads of valuable information! Like, what the best restaurants in town are that we’ve never visited before, and how many chili hotdogs we can eat before exploding!” Grinning, he accepted his plate of potatoes and fake blue butter and dug in.

“Thank you.” Padme said as the waiter set several cheese plates on the table.

“I’ll be right back.” The waiter said. He returned in a moment with several more waiters and waitresses who piled to table so high with cheese-foods that Anakin and Padme couldn’t see each other. Needless to say Padme couldn’t eat it all, and she and Anakin had to go to their house before returning to the conference to freeze most of it. Padme was sure to leave one plate in the fridge for that night’s dinner.

Back at the conference, Padme suddenly realized that, in all the eating-separated-by-a-giant-wall-of-cheese-foods and the running home to freeze the extra, Padme hadn’t told Anakin that she was pregnant. Sighing, she settled down in her chair, wondering where Obi-Wan was. The next conference session was about to start and he wasn’t there to hear it. Anakin checked the program and informed Padme (much to her dismay) that the rest of the conference would be about training younglings and Padawan. Padme ignored this part as, if their baby was force-sensitive, Anakin would be the one teaching them the ways of the Jedi, not her. She had learned all that she could from this conference and she was feeling a little sick from too much cheese and concern over how to tell Anakin the big news. Half-way through the last session she decided to go home and take a nap, and when Anakin came home after the conference she was feeling much better.

“Anakin, I taped the latest episode of Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet, since he missed it, being at the conference and all.” She had felt well enough to eat her cheesy dinner and looked radiant. Anakin noticed the change in her. Certainly it wasn’t just because that night’s episode of Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet was a special, was it?

“Padme, what’s going on?” Anakin asked, smiling as he sat down beside her.

“Aren’t you going to give Obi-Wan the tape?” Padme asked, suddenly nervous.

“Not yet.” Anakin gently lowered her hand, which was holding the VHS. “Padme,” he murmured “what’s going on? Something was bothering you today at the conference, and…”

Padme suddenly burst into tears. “Ani, I didn’t know how to tell you, but today was more important than you think.”

“Really?” Anakin asked, surprised. “I thought I was just bringing you along so we could spend some time together, and you wouldn’t be bored being alone all day.”

Padme sniffled. “No, Ani. This was really important to me, too. You see…”

“What is it? You’re trembling.”

All there was left to do was to say it.

“Anakin…I’m pregnant.”

Silence. After a minute, Anakin began to chuckle. Then the chuckle turned into full-blown belly laughter in about ten seconds.

“Anakin, Anakin!” Padme bawled. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong??”

“Nothing’s wrong, Padme. I just wished you had told me sooner.”

“Why?? Why??” Padme asked in a frenzied panic.

Managing to hold his laughter down to a chuckle, Anakin dug a gift certificate out of his back pocket. He handed it to Padme who wiped her tears away and read it.

“500 credits off your next visit to Bonzo Gym World…” She looked up at Anakin, stunned. “What does this have to do with anything?”

Anakin chuckled again. “Well, before I knew you were pregnant, I saw that your belly was getting kind of round, and knowing how trim you used to be, well, I kind of figured you’d want to work out and get trim again, you know.”

“You…you thought I was fat?” Padme asked, offended.

“No, but you weren’t as trim as you used to be. And I know the importance of a good, strong core.” Anakin did the body-builder pose, flexing his muscles under his Jedi tunic. “So…I bought you the gift card, figuring you’d like it. I thought maybe you’d eaten too much cheese, and had gained a little weight.”

“So…you’re not upset about the baby?”

Anakin grinned. “Nope. This is a happy moment, the happiest moment in my laugh…” Catching another glance of the gift card, Anakin laughed. “And one of the funniest, too. Now, come on. We’d better get that tape to Obi-Wan.”

Anakin extended a hand to Padme and the two of them went to Obi-Wan’s personal quarters.

“Nobi, May has something for you.” Anakin announced, reverting back to using the nicknames he had given them.

“Oooh, what is it? Is it a gift?” Obi-Wan squealed, delighted.

“Yes.” Padme handed him the tape. Obi-Wan turned it over, confused.

“It’s a…blank VHS tape. I’m sure it…could come in handy someday.” Obi-Wan said, trying to be polite.

“It’s not blank, Obi-Wan. I taped the most recent episode of Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet on it, so you can-”

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Obi-Wan yelled. “I missed the latest episode of Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet! I missed the epic-ness! BWAHAHAAA!”

“OBI-WAN!!” Anakin hollered, trying to  be heard above Obi-Wan’s howls. “Padme taped the episode for you!”

Obi-Wan sat down in the corner and wept.

“Obi-Wan…” Padme went over to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll never get to see what happens next!” Obi-Wan wailed. “How will I ever find out if Princess Maloloo escaped from the dungeon of the giant purple dragon, or if the exploding cheeseballs ever return? I am a failure, I have failed Television, I have failed TV shows, I have failed Princess Maloloo and I have failed myself!” Obi-Wan continued to sob helplessly. Padme sighed.

“Look, Obi-Wan, if there was a way to watch that show, would you…ur, ‘unfail’ all those things you’ve failed?” she asked.

Obi-Wan looked up, sniffling. “M-maybe. Yes, that would be good.” Suddenly he burst into tears again. “But that’s impossible, so I’ll never be able to unfail-” He saw Padme holding the tape out to him and he blinked. “What’s that? OH, I know! I can go back in time, use this empty tape to tape the show, and-”

“Obi-Wan, the show’s been taped already. I taped it, since I was home from the conference in time to see it.” Padme explained. “Remember, I went home early?”

“Yeah…so, you mean, the show’s on this tape?” Obi-Wan asked, wiping his eyes.

“Yep. And you can watch it right away if you want to.”

“Can I?” Obi-Wan looked to Anakin for approval.

“Of course, go right ahead.”

“YAAAAAY!!” Obi-Wan cried, rushing to put the tape in the VCR.

“I’m gonna order some Chinese, is that okay, Obi-Wan?” Anakin asked.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, you kids do whatever you’re gonna do.” Obi-Wan said, lugging an enormous bowl of popcorn in front of the TV where the Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet theme music was softly playing. Anakin chuckled and dialed Excellent Chinese, the best (and most expensive) Chinese restaurant on all of Courascant. While they were waiting for the food, Padme re-watched Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet with Obi-Wan and Anakin took a catnap.

When the food got there Padme had a small cheese side-dish Anakin had ordered just for her. “Go easy on the cheese.” he teased her, secretly referring to her pregnancy. Padme smiled, understanding, and ate while the TV show finished up. Anakin had peanut-butter egg-foo-yung and Obi-Wan had pistachio-flavored-noodles with pistachio on top (he absolutely loved pasta of any sort, and pistachios). When they were finished, they all tidied up Obi-Wan’s personal quarters, said goodnight, and Anakin and Padme went home.

“What a wonderful day.” Padme sighed, sprawling out on the bed.

“Yeah.” Anakin agreed, pulling on his monkey-pajama shirt. “It sure was a good one.”

They were silent, thinking about the day for awhile, then Anakin climbed into bed.

“Got any plans for tomorrow, Ani?” Padme murmured drowsily.

“Not that I know of.” Anakin replied. “Night Padme.” He turned out the light.

“Night, Ani.”

As they drifted off to sleep they had no way of knowing what tomorrow would bring.
***

Padme's Pregnancy Diary- Day Two

Well, my second day of writing, anyway. I'm actually about 117 days pregnant. I can't believe it's been, like, four months already! And I didn't find out that long ago! I suspected for quite awhile, but... I didn't want to risk going to a doctor before I talked things over with Ani. He was concerned when we first found out and he told me if I ever think I'm pregnant again, to just go for the safety of myself and the babies.

I made some tickers about the babies and I. Here's one with how big they are and how they are growing:
http://lilypie.com/Maternity_code.php
This one is kinda cute, it's how big the babies are in proportion to different things, like watermelons. It gave me a giggle.http://lilypie.com/Maternity_code.php
And here's one with how big I am:http://lilypie.com/Maternity_code.php
Ani and I have an anniversary coming too! We've almost been married for three years! Here's the amount of time we've been married: http://daisypath.com/Anniversary_code.php
And here's the countdown to our next anniversary!http://daisypath.com/Anniversary_code.php

Well, I'm craving cookies and still sleepy, so night all!

The Secret Life of Ri'ma Kenobi: Chapter Twenty-Five (WIP)

Chapter Five

“So…you are my big brother?”

“It appears so.” Anakin smiled at the younger boy. Tomvin was a sweet, spunky lad, and he liked him already.

“Why were you away for so long?” Tomvin asked, tears coming into his big blue eyes. Anakin’s heart softened and he put his arm around the boy’s shoulders.

“Tomvin, I couldn’t come back. I had to train to be a Jedi. I wanted to come back and see my mother so bad, but…I wasn’t able to…I didn’t even know you were born.”

“Really?” Tomvin wiped his eyes and smiled shakily. “I thought you just didn’t care.”

Anakin shook his head. “I wish I had known. I missed so much while I was gone…not that knowing would have changed anything. Jedi aren’t allowed to do what they like, or visit the places you like, or…” His voice shook “Be with the people that I love.” Clearing his throat, he went on. “I’m not allowed to love. well, I mean, attachment and possession are forbidden. There is only compassion. A Jedi…a Jedi isn’t allowed to marry.”

“Then I’m glad that I’m not a Jedi.” Tomvin confessed, staring off, deep in thought.

“It’s terrible…” Anakin confessed.

“You…want to marry Padme, don’t you?”  Tomvin asked. Anakin’s eyes widened.

“How did you…”

“It could only be her. We- Ri’ma and I- we….saw you…kiss.” Tomvin could barely speak such a romantic word. Anakin blinked, then burst out laughing.

“Tomvin, I…how did you-? You guys!” He bent over, laughing so hard his stomach hurt. Tomvin watched, stunned. At last Anakin looked up and wiped his eyes.

“I’m sorry, it’s really not funny. But it’s ironic. We both love each other- I think- and yet…” He stared off. “We aren’t allowed to marry each other because of stupid rules…”

“Rules aren’t stupid.” Tomvin insisted. “They are to help people, mostly.”

“Not these rules. These are stupid. Why can’t a Jedi marry? Love is a wonderful thing, and it all goes to waste…”

Tomvin sighed. “I don’t know how you feel,” he confessed “and I probably never will.”
***

Crazy Days: Chapter Two

Sorry for the misspellings, I'm sure I'll fix them... "in time". Tired...XD here's chapter two! :D

CRAZY DAYS

Chapter Two

In this chapter…

“MORE peanut butter?”

“I’m WEIRD!”

“Mmm…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

***

“TODAY’S THE DAY!”

That is what Anakin woke up to. He slowly opened his eyes, only to slap them closed again. Padme’s freakishly-grinning face just inches from his was not what he wanted to see when he first woke up. Padme? Yes. Grinning? Yes. Grinning freakishly and yelling in his ear? Not so much.

“Padme…” he mumbled. “What on earth are you doing? What’s today?”

“Today is the day I…” she paused dramatically. “CUT MY FINGERNAILS! WAHOO!!!”

She ran off giggling wildly. Anakin moaned and rolled back over to sleep.

5 minutes later…

“Ani…I’m bored. I clipped my fingernails and now I have nothing to do.”

“You…clipped your fingernails already?” Anakin sat up, yawning.

“Yep. Now I don’t know what to do.”

“Clip ‘em again.”

“Ok.”

5 minutes later…

“I clipped them again and now I’m bored again.”

Anakin sighed and pushed himself out of bed. He was wearing monkey pajamas and he slid his feet into frog-headed, green slippers. Padme was wearing a terribly long nightgown and bare feet. She kept tripping on the hem of the nightgown and grabbing onto things to steady herself.

“Ani-” she steadied herself against him. “I’m hungry. Real hungry. Eat-whatever-you-put-in-front-of-me-hungry.”

“Would you eat fried toads? That’s what I’m making.” Anakin teased.

“EW! No way!”

“Then you’re not really “eat-whatever-you-put-in-front-of-me-hungry”.”

“Ok, ok, I’m “eat-whatever-you-put-in-front-of-me-except-for-fried-toads-hungry”.”

“I’ll make pancakes.” Anakin said.

“MMM!!!” Padme licked her lips. “Yum!”

Anakin headed to the kitchen and pulled down a large frying pan and got it heating. He quickly stirred together the ingredients for pancakes and by then the pan was ready. He poured the whole pan full of pancake batter. Padme watched over his shoulder.

“Look, hon, watch this!” Anakin cried.

He then proceeded to fish his infamous jar of peanut butter from the refrigerator, and scooped an enormous glob into the center of the quickly-cooking pancake.

“See? Then, when it’s done, I flip it and put more peanut butter on the other side.”

“MORE peanut butter?” Padme asked, incredulous.

“More peanut butter.” Anakin affirmed.

After that pancake was done, Anakin made a pancake with peanut butter swirled in. Then he made a plain pancake, put loads of peanut butter in the middle, and rolled it up. Then he made a pancake sandwich with peanut butter in the middle. Then he poured some batter, then a glob of peanut butter , then more batter on top for peanut butter surprise in the middle. Then he poured peanut butter in the pan and made a literal peanut butter pancake. He took his creations to the table.

“Ani, are they all peanut buttery?” Padme asked, wrinkling her nose up at the smell.

“Oops!” Anakin blushed. “I’m sorry, Padme. I forgot you don’t like peanut butter.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s that I don’t insanely love it like you do.” Padme pointed out.

“True. Well, there’s some batter left. I could make you some plain ones.”

“I can do mine, but thanks.”

Ten minutes later Padme emerged from the kitchen carrying a plate upon which was a single pancake. Anakin swallowed his last bite of peanut butter surprise and watched her smiling. It was fun to watch Padme eat. Anakin shoveled his food, but Padme looked pretty and dainty every bite. When she got to the exact center of the pancake there was a single chocolate chip.

“Wow.” Anakin said. “Cool.”

“Thanks.”

While Padme finished eating Anakin took his plate to the kitchen. What greeted his sleepy eyes were several perfect, plain pancakes. Anakin wondered why Padme wasn’t eating those too. He poked around in one and found that the chocolate chip wasn’t quite center. The others were the same. Anakin shrugged; Padme was a bit of a perfectionist at times. No wonder it had taken her so long to make her pancake. Anakin ate the chocolate chips from the centers and put the spoiled pancakes in the freezer. Any time he didn’t want to eat something he put it in the freezer. He was a bit of a freezer pack-rat.

He was just starting on the dishes when Padme came whistling into the kitchen. She smiled at him. He smiled back.

“Ani, why don’t you go do something? I can clean up. In fact, I just love cleaning up.” It was true. If there was ever even a speck of dust on anything, Padme would gleefully tie on her hot-pink-and-zebra-striped apron, pick up her bright-yellow feather duster, and attack.

“Ok, thanks hon.” He kissed her on the cheek and departed. He was still tired so he wasn’t paying much attention to what he was doing. He found himself a few minutes later standing at the side of the intersection that separated his and Padme’s apartment from the Jedi temple. He was still wearing his monkey pajamas and frog-head slippers. He could have gone home and changed, but he didn’t want Padme to see how silly he had been to go outside in his pajamas. So he just continued on to the Jedi temple, not really thinking about how silly he would look to everyone there. He was too tired to think about anything clearly. In that state of mind he shouldn’t have crossed the street, but he wasn’t thinking clearly enough to think about thinking clearly, so he just crossed the street. Fortunately most speeders and ships were high above him, so he made it safely across. He entered the front door of the Jedi temple.

“Greetings!” he said as Kit Fisto walked by. The Jedi gave him an odd look but he just smiled, figuring Kit was grumpy or something. “Lalalalalalaaa!” he sung as he walked, flinging his legs forward too far and almost tripping. “It’d a beautiful daaaay!!”

Mace Windu rounded a corner and came towards Anakin. Anakin grinned widely.

“GOOOD morning, Master Windu!” he called out.

“Anakin…what on earth are you wearing??” Mace asked, shaking his head.

“Uh…” Anakin looked down. “It appears that I’m wearing monkey pajamas and froggy slippers.”

Mace made a face. “They totally clash, Anakin. Don’t mix and match animals like that. At least without something breaking them up…like this.”

Mace pulled a red scarf from a backpack he was carrying and tied it around Anakin’s ankles.

“There, that’s much better.”

“Uh…thank you, I think.”

“You are most very welcome.” Mace walked off whistling the Imperial Death March. Anakin found this tune to be quite catchy and began on it himself. He tried to take a step forward and tripped, landing face-first on the floor. “Ow… he pushed himself up on his elbows as his cell phone began to ring. After struggling to get it from the back left pocket of his money pajama pants, he flipped it open and answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Is this Anakin Skywalker?”

“Yeah. Wait, who is this?” Anakin said into the phone.

“This is Doctor Brown of the ER. I’m calling to inform you that your wife is unconscious.”

“UNCONSCIOUS?” Anakin yelled into the phone. “And how do you know she’s my wife anyway?”

“Uh…sorry.” said the voice on the other end. “I just assumed…since you have the same last name….”

“What’s wrong with her??” Anakin howled. “Why is she unconscious?”

“We did a blood test and it appears that there is too much chocolate in her system. She is very allergic to it apparently.”

“All she had was one chocolate chip in the exact center of her pancake!” Anakin sobbed.

“I’m sorry, sir. You should come right away. She asked for you, just before she knocked out.”

“Coming!” Anakin hung up his phone and crammed in into his pocket. He ran as fast as he could to the speeder bay where  he found Obi-Wan.

“Master, can I borrow your speeder?” Anakin yelled, running towards him.

“Okay, okay!” Obi-Wan dropped his protein shake and threw his hands up to protect his face as Anakin whizzed past and plunked down in the cockpit. In three seconds he was gone.

“Odd…” Obi-Wan picked up his shale, smelled it, then shrugged. He took a long slurp.

Anakin reached the hospital in record time and jumped from the speeder. Rushing through the entrance he fought back tears. Chocolate, of all things! So good, so tasty…so deadly. Who would have thought it? Chocolate looked so innocent, unless you were a dog.

“Padme, you’re like a dog!” Anakin burst through the doorway of room #207 where he sensed Padme. His outburst brought Padme out of unconsciousness and she started sobbing.

“Take it back, Ani! Take it baaaaaack!” she cried. “I do NOT look like a hog!”

“No, no, you are LIKE a DOG.” Anakin explained. “Chocolate is poison to you like it is to dogs.”

“Oh, is that all?” Padme sniffled. “As long as I don’t look like a hog.”

“You don’t. You look…pretty.”

“Skywalker!!” Yoda was somehow standing in the doorway to room #207. “Telling Amidala she is pretty, why are you??”

“Uh…” Anakin colored. “Because…she is?”

Yoda shrugged. “Good enough for me, that answer is.” He went down the hallway licking a rainbow lollipop. Anakin turned back to Padme.

“Well, I guess we can g home now.” Anakin said.

“Just don’t let her eat any chocolate, and bring her back if she has a relapse. The doctor instructed them.”

“Re…what?” Anakin asked.

“Basically if she turns completely white, passes out, or goes unconscious.” the doctor explained.

“Aha. What if her whole body is covered in a bright red rash?” Anakin quiried.

“That too.”

“Or if she turns blue and can’t breathe?”

“Yes…”

“Or-”

Anakin was cut off by Padme wailing. “ANAKIN, WAAAH!! I’m scared!!”

“Thanks doc. I think I need to take Padme home now. For some reason she seems scared of you or this place.” Anakin carried Padme out to the speeder and drove her home. Once she was comfortable on the couch watching a re-run of her favorite TV show, Anakin quickly disposed of all of the chocolate in the house. First he ate the chocolate chips, then he glugged down the chocolate milk, then he melted all of the bakers’ chocolate, added sugar, and slurped that down too. At that point he was feeling kind of sick so he laid down on his bed for a nap. Padme finished watching her TV show and got bored. She was feeling a lot better since Anakin had taken her home, so she decided to get up and do something fun.

“Hm…let’s see…I need someone to think of a word for The Word Game…” Anakin was asleep, and even if he were awake, he was no fun in that respect. Neither was Obi-Wan. No, she would have to target a new victim…

“Aha! I know where to find lots of people to ask for words from!!”

Padme got in her speeder and drove, cackling wildly. The Senate was full of people who didn’t know about the word game. She would make every single one of them- every single one- give her a word. Then she would write them on the couch arm and do them all!

The first person she spotted was Jar Jar Binks. Hiding her mischievous smile she walked over to him.

“Hey, Jar Jar.”

The Gungan griined. “Hello, Senator Pladme! Mesa so excited to sein’ yousa!”

“It’s good to see you too, Jar Jar.” Padme giggled. She couldn’t wait ot hear what Jar Jar’s idea would be.

“Jar Jar…pick a word. any word. Just say something.”

“Uh…something…?”

Padme sighed. “What’s your favorite word, Jar Jar?”

“Uh…mesa no has one. Sorry, Senator.”

“That’s ok…why don’t you pick one right now?” Padme suggested.

“Oh, good idea, Senator. Uh…mesa favorite word is ‘wet’. It be very wet in the Gungan City. Yes, mesa favorite word is ‘wet’.”

“Thanks, Jar Jar.” Padme pulled her sparkly pink pen and a notepad out of her Whinnie the Pooh purse and scribbled the word wet.

“Bye, Jar Jar.” Padme smiled.

Her next victim was Chancellor Palpatine.

“Chancellor, pick a word, any word.”

“Uh….evil!!” Palpatine shrieked. Padme’s jaw dropped and she stared at him. Palpatrine blushed.

“You, uh…you said to pick any word, and that’s exactly what I did.” Palpatine shuffled off and Padme wrote the word ‘evil’ in her notebook, shaking her head. “Maybe I’ll do an anagram: every vain italic loves…or something…” She hurried off to the next senator in line. By the time evening fell she was driving back home in her speeder.

“Now to start on my list!” she cried. It took her a good twenty minutes to scribble all of her words on the sofa, and she had almost filled up the entire arm…

Meanwhile:

“PADME?? Padme, where aaaaaare yoooou?” Anakin called out in desperation, looking under a bush for Padme. A black-and-white cat streaked past him, tripping him up. “PADME! Where could she be??” he asked himself. Slumping against a wall he tore open a triple-peanut-butter-flavored energy bar. Gnawing, he tried to think of another place his wife could be. Maybe she had chocolate left in her system and had run off somewhere, half-crazy. He gulped the last bit of bar and pulled a flashlight out of his backpack. He would look for her until her found her.

Back at the apartment:

Padme slumped against the couch, exhausted. She had glue in her ears and feathers in her hair. The nightgown she had never changed out of was sopping wet. She felt sick from eating 14 pickles. And she still had only used up ten ideas so far. Out of 745.

Finally Anakin came home. He was planning on making a pot of coffee and then heading out again. It was past midnight and he could barely keep his eyes open, but he had to find Padme before she hurt herself. He hoped he wasn’t too late…

He was just pouring himself a fresh cup of peanut-butter-flavored coffee when he heard a scream. Spilling coffee all over himself he ran into the living room. There was Padme, lying unconscious on the floor.

“PADME!!”

He ran over to her, threw his arms around her and sobbed. She was so still, her eyes were closed…Anakin spotted a smudge of chocolate on the corner of her mouth. “No…!” He sobbed until they both were soaked. Well, until Anakin was soaked- for some reason Padme was already soaked. Finally he could cry no more. He slumped down on the carpet beside her.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA! GOT YOU ANI!”

Anakin screamed. Padme sat up, carefully wiped the chocolate away from her mouth, and grinned.

“That was number 234.” Padme explained. “’Play a joke on somebody you love’. It was from the word ‘love’.”

“Wow…that was kinda a far stretch, wasn’t it, Padme?” Anakin’s heart was pounding his chest so hard he thought he would faint.

“I think what you mean is a fun stretch. And no, I didn’t actually eat any chocolate.”

Padme brushed some mud off of her nightgown and pulled candy corn out of her nose. Anakin made a face.

“Yuck…what was that doing up there?”

“I combined two words: candy, and nose.” Padme explained.

“Oh…where did you get all these words, Padme?”

Padme grinned. “Senators. Lots of senators and lots of words!”

Padme began to pick up chicken feathers and empty hat boxes that were strewn around the living room. Then she vacuumed up about twenty pounds of glitter, scrubbed sharpie off of the windows, tried to wipe the jelly out of her hair and spit out the rock she had been chewing on. Anakin watched in horror while these things went on, then he suggested that Padme might want to take a shower and put on a fresh nightgown for the night.

“Ok.” Padme left and Anakin was alone in the living room.

“What a weird day…” he muttered.

“WEIRD? Did somebody say-”

Obi-Wan appeared, wearing a large chicken suit and blowing balloons up with his nose.

“Uh, Obi-Wan…where did you come from??”

“I’m WEIRD!” Obi-Wan said, as if that explained everything. He tied off the balloons and ran around the room, throwing them here and there.

“Look, you have fun with your balloons, I’m gonna watch some TV.”

“OOOOH, it’s about time for Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet!!!” Obi-Wan squealed.

“YAY!” Padme yelled from the bathroom. Thirty seconds she appeared, jelly still in her ears and face-paint on her face. Apparently she had rushed to get out of the shower in time for the show. She had changed into a nice clean nightgown, however, so Anakin let the matter pass.

Obi-Wan switched on the TV.

“Here once again, we present you with: Watch Princess Maloloo float on a magical butterfly across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet. On this episode, watch Princess Maloloo float on her magical butterfly Stacie across the land of Silope in a desperate attempt to save the planet from giant exploding cheeseballs!”

“OOOOOOOOOOH!” Obi-Wan and Padme said. Anakin rolled his eyes.

The TV show lasted for forty-five minutes, and then silence prevailed. Princess Maloloo had saved the planet once again, this time from giant exploding cheeseballs. Anakin went to the kitchen to drink his cold coffee while Obi-Wan and Padme schemed about how to make their own cheeseballs.

“Our should maybe have a little less kick to them.” Padme said, referring to the explosives.

“What did you say?” Obi-Wan squeaked his finger in his ear. “I can’t hear you.” The loud squeals towards the end of the episode had made him temporarily hard-of-hearing.

“I said, a little less kick in ours, ok?”

“A little more kick?” Obi-Wan stood poised over the pot of bubbling cheese, a large jar of crushed red pepper in his hand.

“Uh-uh.” Padme said, mishearing Obi-Wan as well.

“Okie-dokie, if you say so!” Obi-Wan dumped almost the entire jar of pepper into the cheese. Padme was trying to make I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-chocolate coffee, so she didn’t notice.

“Alright!” Anakin brought his coffee and some chips to the table. “Ready to eat, everyone?”

“Ready!” Obi-Wan pulled the bubbling mass of cheese off of the stove and poured most of it into a big bowl which he then set on the table.

“Yummy!” Padme cried, settling down with her make I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-chocolate coffee. She took a sip.

“Oooh!” she giggled. “It’s GOOD! I can’t believe it’s not chocolate!”

Anakin laughed. Obi-Wan hardly heard, so focused was he on his cheese dip.

“Can we eat it now??” he pressed.

“Ok!” Anakin agreed.

“MMM!!” Padme sighed, inhaling deeply.

“Ready, set…GO!” Obi-Wan plunged a chip full of the gooey mess and crammed it into his mouth. “MMMM…!”

Anakin had a chip with a more modest amount of cheese. “Mm, it’s pretty good!” he agreed.

Padme, grinning widely, took a chip and scooped an ENORMOUS amount of cheese on it, even more than Obi-Wan had had on his. She just LOVED cheese and ate it whenever she could. Thinking that it was going to taste mild and cheesy, she closed her eyes and popped it into her mouth. For one second she sighed in enjoyment. But suddenly, the burn came.

“Mmm…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Padme cried, jumping up out of her chair and running to the kitchen. She turned the faucet on full-blast and stuck her face in the sink, letting the water pour into her mouth and out again. She was still screaming, but her voice sounded bubbly.

BLAAABALALLALABAALALALA!!” she cried.

“I wonder what’s wrong with Padme.” Anakin wondered aloud.

“No idea.” Obi-Wan ate more cheese.

At last Padme came back from the kitchen with a cup of coffee. She refused to eat any more cheese but had plain chips instead. Obi-Wan and Anakin quickly devoured the cheese by themselves. When they were finished, everyone leaned back in their chair and sighed.

“It’s kinda getting late.” Padme pointed out.

“Yeah…” Obi-Wan agreed.

Anakin stood and stretched. “Well, it’s going to be a very busy day tomorrow…” He yawned, revealing a yellow-stained tongue from all the cheese.

“Why is it going to be a busy day?” Padme asked, staring suspiciously into the cheesy-residue bowl. She sniffed lightly and grimaced. Too spicy.

Anakin smirked. “It’s a surprise.”

“Good or bad?” Obi-Wan asked, running his finger along the inside of the cheese-bowl repeatedly as Padme made a face.

“Uh…it depends on who you are…” Anakin shrugged. “Anyway, night all.”

So Obi-Wan left (taking the cheese-bowl) and Anakin went to bed. Padme, although she had had an even longer day, couldn’t go to sleep quite yet. She turned on the TV and flipped to her favorite channel: the Courascant Food Network (CFN). Her stomach growled from hunger as she watched. Eating nothing but a single poisoned-chocolate pancake, coffee, and chips all day wasn’t exactly ideal. The woman on the show was just demonstrating how to use a rotary cutter to slice pizza.

“Oooh…!!” Padme grinned widely. She ran to her sewing closet, grabbed her rotary cutter, then dialed The Pizza Place. Tapping her foot while she waited for someone to pick up, Padme continued getting crazy ideas from the CFN, which ranged from putting pancakes in the dryer to make them fluffier to frying banana peels in hot sauce for a tasty mid-day pick-me-up.

“Hello?”  someone finally answered.

“HEY!” Padme squealed into the phone. Then she said nothing.

“Uh…do you wanna order a pizza?” the guy prompted.

“M-hmm.”

“What kind?” the guy asked impatiently.

“The yummiest kind of all!” Padme squealed.

“…Which would be…?”

“CHEESE!” exploded Padme.

“Uh…ok.” The guy said, ears ringing.

Twenty-five minutes, ten seconds and thirty-five milliseconds later, the doorbell rang and Padme quickly grabbed an paid for her cheese pizza. As the pizza guy went back to his job, slightly spooked, Padme sat down at the dining room table and devoured the entire thing. When she was done, she switched off the TV and went to bed, jelly still in her ears.

***